"it" just moved
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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