I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
