Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
