oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
