Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
