So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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