People with herpes should wear stickers.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
