He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
