I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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