just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
