Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
