i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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