I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
