4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
More tranny stories later!
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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