Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
