Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
