but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
