Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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