Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
