check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
