idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
