ya dads aren't the best wingmen
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
