i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
