Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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