And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
