I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
