you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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