I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
