I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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