I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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