im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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