physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
