Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
