Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
