Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Randomize
