so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
My life is pants optional.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
