this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
She needs sedatives and a leash
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
