It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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