do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
