I cannot find my penis.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
