Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
