i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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