Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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