Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
