just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
