I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
