Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
