Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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