Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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