why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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