Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
bring money and cleavage
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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