It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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