i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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