she looked like the before picture.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
