It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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