Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
