No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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