alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
