why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
