i just had sex bonerless
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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