:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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