Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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