I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
you mean i was at the winter classic?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
