I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
