Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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